Make Humanity Great Again!
by StarsComeOut
Summary: The moment when titans with sombreros broke Maria Wall, Eren has become homeless and orphan. This fuels his ambition to run for President and Make The United Districts Great Again! In order to win, he has to confront pro titan activists and terrorists as well. Will he be able to save humanity or will he only trigger the masses with 'nonsense' ? Read more to find out
1. We need to build a wall

_Eren Yeager had a very turbulent childhood. He lost his mother, he lost his house and his father went missing and all of this happened when a titan with a sombrero broke Maria Wall opening a path to further destruction. Even though he has inherited all of his father's businesses and wealth, almost everything inside the walls has gone to hell ever since and he got tired of seeing humanity fall before his eyes. So one day, Eren decided to run for President and Make The United Districts Great Again!_

The Survey Corps were returning from a mission, carrying the many dead and wounded. Instead of basking in glory, they were humble and just grateful to live for another day unlike their unfortunate comrades. Their breath was heavy, blood and sweat were mixing on their face and bodies just like how fear and anguish were swirling in their souls, but nonetheless the fire in their eyes hadn't faded regardless of losing yet another battle against titans. This day, just like every other day when they had to go outside to eliminate the dangerous livings that were threatening humanity's existence at the cost of their lives, felt like...privilege! But as they were marching on the streets a few people were already waiting for them while holding signs and yelling slogans and insults at the soldiers.

"Titanophobes!"

"Titans are people too!"

"Stop the massacre against titans!"

It's not an uncommon sight ever since the Titan Lives Matter movement led by Hange has gained popularity among youth and, usually, the military does nothing to stop this as it's their right of free speech, so they don't really have a choice but to endure the public humiliation in silence, even after death.

Eren was young too, but he developed some kind of patriotic feelings unlike some of those entitled spoiled brats. He would often come by the entrance to congratulate the army for their courage, support them morally and reassure them that their sacrifice isn't in vain, so such protests infuriate him to no end. He felt like he was the only sane person on this planet until he saw a few civilians in the background shaking their head in disapproval while gossiping about the movement.

"I'm telling you, Connie – this ain't good"

"I know, Jean! It's like they want us dead"

"Have they forgotten what those creatures had done to Shiganshina District?"

"Yeah, they and the CRISIS terrorists that keep bombing the walls"

"I will destroy CRISIS!"

"Keep on dreaming, Jean"

"Guys, it's the radical titans that are evil. Not all of them think the same"

"Keep on dreaming too, Sasha", Connie sighed with annoyance at his unrealistic friends.

Eren studied the group and came to the conclusion that two of them had opposite extreme views and one of them tried to stay neutral or realistic. He felt drawn to them and was open to hear their opinions, so he decided to step in and join the conversation.

"Fear no more as I'm going to sign up for the run and get rid of these illegal mariachi for good!"

"Who are you to do that!?", asked Sasha being a little triggered.

"I am Eren Yeager, one of the most successful business man's son. The owner of Yeager Tower. The one who's going to Make The..."

"Blah blah...Great Again, I remembered who you are", she interrupted rudely.

"I know you, Mr. Yeager! Are you really going to run for president? This is probably the best thing I've ever heard since the downfall!", Jean beamed with excitement.

"I'd hate to rain on your parade, but do you really think you can win? Look at the madness around. I doubt you have the chivalry to deal with these people", said Connie as he tried to remain objective.

"Have I not been tactful I would've gone bankrupt already. Though these people need to hear the truth for what it is. I don't want to be a politician that says only what they want to hear. They don't even know what they want to hear. They're so thin-skinned, everything offends them"

"HOW DARE YOU SAY I'M OFFENDED BY EVERYTHING!?", yelled Sasha close to turning red from anger.

"Don't mind her.. She used to hang out with loonies until we took her with us. At first she yelled nonsense about how we rape her and how we should feel sorry for being privileged white males. But we're not the kind of people to take it to the heart. We're still trying to make progress with her, we even had to dye her hair back to a more decent color and take away her ugly facial piercings", explained Jean.

Although the conversation seemed intriguing, Eren was planing to end it because he couldn't afford losing any more time before dawn. He understood the main idea of the discussion so he just shrugged and started looking for a carriage.

"Hey, where are you going?", wondered Connie.

"To the Royal Capital. I'll sign up officially and deliver my first speech"

"We want to come too! We will support you!", promised Jean.

"Speak for yourself, you fucking white male!", groaned Sasha.

"That's both sexist and racist", Connie pointed out.

"It can't be if you're not an oppressed class", declared Sasha.

"What rights do I have and you don't?"

"Uhhh... Screw off!"

Then the group started fighting incomprehensibly. Eren rolled his eyes and concluded that he could no longer talk to them reasonably, so the moment they became too busy to pay attention, he tried to withdraw himself from the scene and get to the nearest carriage.

"Oi! Take me with yooouuu!", yelled Jean when he saw Yeager leaving.

And so, with his first fans running from behind (one being dragged like a rekt SJW), Eren started his journey to the capital to Make Humanity Great Again!


	2. The Leader We Deserve

_**Hey, sorry for the long wait! I know I should've done this earlier, but I think you've noticed that this fic is heavily based on the up-to-date events happening in USA. Many of the things said and done here have been actually said and done (Eren's speeches contain Trump's lines with a few alterations, Hillary's 'sigh' part in this chapter is true, and we all may know the classic slogans of very passionate feminists). Please enjoy and let me know if there are any errors! :D**_

* * *

"...and I will remove the federal prohibition on Marijuana", declared candidate Pixis.

And all lines of hippies with bongs applauded and whistled in tears (probably from smoking).

"Did I freaking hear 'Maria Juana'?!", asked Eren imagining a female titan shaking maracas while stomping on houses as he was close to arriving with his carriage. „Damn, I'm late"

As he got off, he tried to make his way in through the crowd, but a few rude attendees kept pushing some people away trying to prevent them from joining the event. They were yelling weird stuff like 'Your privilege is not welcome here' and 'Take your privilege somewhere else', which was weird considering that some of those people missed an arm or a leg or they had their houses destroyed and their relatives killed because of the war. There was so much confusion in the audience even the staff members were stopped at the entrance by protesters who thought they were Yeager supporters because they were white cishumans. Eventually, Eren's three 'fans' caught up with him and Jean bulldozed his way through the crowd to open a path. While Eren and whoever wanted to attend the event and was stopped followed him, Sasha grabbed a few protester hands apologetically and said "I'm still with you" and stayed.

Then, the moderator came back on the stage and continued

"Thank you very much, Dot Pixis. Now, please welcome candidate Hange Zoe!"

 _The TV channel that was broadcasting live wrote under her name 'Crooked Ex Titan Murderer, Current Innocent People Murderer'_

As she was going to grab the mic she bathed in the applause of many topless women, who looked like toxic frogs from having so many odd bright colors in their hair, and transtitans.

"So tell us, Ms. Zoe, why should you be elected for president?"

"Well, first of all, doesn't the thought of having a female president for the first time in history thrill you at all?", she giggled. "And if you vote for me, Yeager won't become president, do you need any more reasons than that?"

The TV channel quoted her 'Women should feel empowered as I will SMASH patriarchy!'

"What do you think of the world in which we live today and can you make it better?"

"I think the world has gone mad. It's very titanphobic, you can see The Survey Corps and The Garrison oppressing innocent titans every single day, they're probably killing them right now as we speak. These defenceless creatures are treated with such cruelty and this needs to stop. It's OUR fault that we built these walls and took away their habitat and even if they still have an entire planet to roam, unlike us, it's still not enough. I feel like the military is corrupting the young people in general by promoting recruitment 'to fight for humanity', which disconsiders the precious lives of our friends –the titans. The quality of our lives decreased because we focus too much on fighting wars and hating on others. If I become the next president I will make sure that humans and titans will live in peace and we will even pay retribution for the titan lives that we've taken away unjustifiedly. Sigh!"

And once again she was applauded at by the same audience of supremacists and special treatment seekers.

"Hold up, did she freaking read 'sigh'? She was supposed to literally sigh, what the ..!", complained Levi as he had to hold a sign with the text of Hange's speech.

"Thank you, Ms Zoe! Now it's time for our last candidate, please welcome Eren Yeager!"

 _The TV channel that was broadcasting live wrote under Eren's name 'Head N!gga at Yeager Organization'_

Boos mixed with cheering filled the air the moment Eren stepped in, but he kept his smug look regardless. Levi, who was uninterested at first by political fiascos, had his attention drawn to the scene raising an eyebrow. He thought the candidate was kinda cute.

"Mr. Yeager, you have decided to run for president though many of your views are considered controversial, do you think you can win if you hurt the delicate feelings of others?"

As soon as he opened his mouth to speak he was temporarily silenced by bogus words

"Titanophobe! Titan hater! You're a joke!"

"Listen! I think the biggest problem here is that we are too politically correct"

 _The TV channel quoted him ' I'm politically incorrect as a motherf*cker '_

"I've been challenged by so many people, I don't have time for political correctness"

 _The TV channel quoted him 'Ain't got time for your bullsh*t'_

"And honestly, this nation doesn't have time either"

 _The TV channel quoted him 'Honestly, f*ck your questions'_

"Humanity is in big trouble, we don't win anymore, we lose to titans, we lose to terrorists"

The TV channel quoted him 'Titans and activists can suck my d*ck!'

"What I say is what I say and if you don't like it, I'm sorry. I've been nice to you although I probably shouldn't based on how you have treated me, but I wouldn't do that"

 _The TV channel quoted him 'I give 0 f*cks about what you think'_

"We need. To build. A wall! And I will have titans stuck in that wall. We need to keep these deadly creatures OUT OUT OUT! Titans are eating people, titans are destroying homes, titans will ruin this nation and this is going to happen whether you like it or not!"

"Booo! Boooo!", exclaimed the transtitans and many Pixis supporters who were just so high they had no idea what they were doing, yet the camera focused on them anyway and added the text 'Yeager – the most bigoted candidate in history'

Levi started looking admiratively at the young candidate, he even blushed. He had a new political crush apparently. Being so intrigued by the power in Eren's words he wanted to switch sides, but he was kind of afraid for his life. It was a dangerous world for a cis white male human and the only reason he was still up was because he lived under the ideological protection of Hange and the likes of her.

"And did you know that Hange used to work in The Survey Co-"

Hange ran back on the stage to take the mic from Eren's hand

"I refuse to stay with my arms crossed as I am insulted by a bigot. He is male-"

"Well aren't you quick to make assumptions on my gender?", Eren mocked her quietly.

"-he is white -"

"I'm actually half brown...". But what he had to say couldn't be heard since didn't have the mic.

"-he is cishuman-"

"I'm actually a titan shifter...". But the same problem occurred.

"-so of course he has all the reasons to be titanphobic, sexist, ableist, racist..", and a long list of words like those continued. "I really don't appreciate your patronizing tone as you're trying to interrupt a woman..."

"Though you ran on the stage to literally pull my mic as I was talking...", he pointed out as he tried to get his mic back.

The moderator tried to remove Hange from the stage despite her yelling that they're silencing women who deserve in fact more platform to express themselves. Arguing and screaming among the audience were getting louder and louder as three distinct parties have been contoured and the speech part of the event had to be cut short by the staff for safety reasons. Also, people have been asked to vote on the spot the two finalists who were going to compete later for the leader role of humanity.

As Hange was passing by Levi, he held his head down in shame and white male human-guilt and followed her from behind. He was tired of feeling like a cuck and he kept thinking about Alpha Eren, the only one who would stand up for him and wouldn't make cruel assumptions based on his identity. Deep inside, he was hoping that this fine young man would become the voice of the vulnerable like him and will fix the relationships between unnecessarily segregated groups.

Meanwhile the group of hippies were surrounding Pixis with mystic smoking objects hoping that he will win and make humanity dank again.

And Eren returned to his trusty frat boys who retrieved Sasha from the fem-cultists. He suddenly received a phone call from Mikasa and answered it

"Eren! How could you be so awful? If I knew you were going to embarrass yourself like that I wouldn't have let you leave the house. How am I supposed to show my face in public ever again?", she went hysterical.

"What do you mean? What did I do so bad?"

"I'm sitting here watching the breaking news. 'Yeager tries to grab Zoe's mic in attempt to silence her'? 'Yeager - the most bigoted candidate in history?'. You can't make this up. This is not how mamma raised you"

"Dishonest media! After results I will call them out for their lies", and he had to hang up quick as the moderator was ready to announce the results.

"The two candidates that will run against each other for being president are - Hange Zoe and Eren Yeager!"

"Whoooo! ", screamed Jean as he was bouncing around like a ball of joy.

"B-But how?!", asked Hange mortified that Eren made it. "He had only two supporters with him"

"Who the hell did we vote for?", Marco asked a fellow confused hippy who felt like fainting from an overdose.

And the moderator resumed

"With that being said here ends the first part of the election. Good luck to the candidates, may the best one win! Let us have the leader we deserve!"

Then everyone left the place in frustration and confusion except for Yeager's crew.


	3. Harambe and The Terrorist Truck

"WHAT DO WE WANT?"

"DEAD SOLDIERS!"

"WHEN DO WE WANT THEM?"

"NOW!"

This was the chant that was waking everybody early in the morning. Tons of transtitans were roaming the streets with their peaceful slogan drawing attention to their cause every 5 minutes...because it was absolutely important, not annoying at all.

"Nobody cares!"

"Shut the hell up!"

Obviously, the movement had great support from citizens. Everybody loved it and agreed with it or else they were bigots, and being a bigot is a crime worse than murder. Speaking of murder, last night a white truck killed many citizens in the city center like...it was alive, or at least that's what the news said. But people speculate that somebody was actually driving the truck. Though, enough with that truck. Titan Lives Matter members were so upset that media covered this tragic event reverting the attention from them that they hijacked a moment of mourning dedicated to the victims. They may hijack this story too.

However, Eren didn't care about labels and people looked at him both in disgust and admiration because of it. He only cared about humanity and if him being labelled as a hater would save people, he will do it. Since his speech, people have threatened to kill him, beat him, humiliate him, bully him, all because he said he wanted to build a wall to keep the dangerous titans away. I guess his life doesn't matter even though he's a titanshifter, because he has the wrong opinions. Even some of his friends told him that what he was doing was madness, a lone warrior against the world that wouldn't win the election and wouldn't build a wall because that's not realistic (even though ancestors have built many great walls with the technology of thousands of years ago). But now it was too late to go back or to go soft.

Meanwhile, Levi was returning from the market when he accidentally bumped into TLM.

"Look! A soldier! Get him!", yelled a transtitan.

Due to the traumas that Levi has experienced battling actual titans, he acted instinctively when he saw the hoard approaching and he quickly grabbed his blades ready to fight.

"Everybody! We found the bigot, look! Look at how he grabbed his blades to kill us all when we were just minding our own business! OPPRESSION!"

People on the street didn't actually witness the whole scene, but they believed the words. Consequently, they were preparing to beat the hell out of the poor captain, that will sure teach him a lesson of not having the wrong opinion...or career.

All of this was happening during the second part of the campaign. In the the first one, we just got a brief idea of who the candidates were and what they stood for. Now it is time to see how they handle up-to-date events by speaking publicly of last night's attack and other current issues. The first one to talk was Hange, obviously, because women go first.

"So Ms. Hange, why do you think that tragic event happened last night? "

"As you may know, the truck was white, and everything white is the enemy of our society"

"But that truck has killed people indiscriminately"

"I would have believed it if the truck killed only white cis hetero men. But among the victims you will find women, which means the truck was misogynistic; you will find queers, which means the truck was a homophobe; and you will find other races, which means the truck was racist too. I conclude that this was nothing but a senseless hate crime premeditated by patriarchy"

The audience was silent, but quickly applauded after a group of soldiers pointed their guns.

 _The news channel that was broadcasting the event quoted her 'Patriarchy caused last night's mass murder'_

Then, the moderator turned to ask Eren the same question.

"So people, I heard you know a lot about trucks, you know..bing bing bong! Anyway, you're smart enough to know that trucks don't drive themselves, surely it was someone!"

A loud gasp could be heard from the back of the crowd. People in the back, who happened to have cat glasses, weird colored hair and a small weight problem...alright let's be honest...it was a HUGE weight problem, started gossiping about how insane and wrong Eren sounded...and hateful, don't forget hateful...and bigoted...and xenophobic...and sexist...and racist...and misogynistic...and patronizing etc.

"And I suspect the driver of that truck happened to be a radical titanist..."

Banshee screeching was filling the air with boos and angry yelling. The multicolored people started calling him a liar because he had no evidence to make such an outrageous statement, even though the truck's plate number was 'C0L0S4L 1S 7H3 GR3AT3ST '. After all, titanism is a religion of peace as a history of humans devouring and towns destroying shows. Then, somebody wearing a titan costume...I mean naked as hell... threw a rock at Eren's head and got him into a coma.

As he was slowly reopening his eyes, all that Eren could see was the pure color of white. He was in a state of lightheadedness and started floating everywhere. When he looked around he could see different shapes and colors gaining contour, forming images of a million bricks sitting on each other to recreate the beloved wall that had been broken in his childhood. It brought tears to his eye and made him more ambitious to build a greater wall. Suddenly, he saw the silhouette of a hairy fat gorilla approaching from beyond the wall. He thought it was an enemy until it spoke out

"Eeereen...Avenge me Eeeereeen!"

"Who are you, Beast Titan?"

"I am the modern prophet, Harambe, who has died for your memes!"

"What? You were the one killed at that zoo because people thought you attacked a child, right?"

"Riiight. But see, I was framed for a crime I didn't commit. This will happen to you too, young man, if you aren't careful in the president run. Everybody knew that I wasn't attacking the child, but I was killed anyway because of a reason media won't tell you"

"I'm literally talking to a gorilla...Am I in a coma or something?"

"In reality, I knew Hange's darkest secrets that could make her go to prison, but she was afraid I would tell the world, and ,in fact, I was planning to do that"

"Whatever. How do I get out of here? Humanity needs me"

"You need me. I will send you back to the world of the awaken if you let me in your mind to guide you and help you defeat Hange"

"This isn't happening. This isn't real. This is just a dream", murmured Eren as he curled up in ball looking very distressed.

* * *

 **Hello! Sorry it takes so long to update. As you may know already, everything in this story is based on real events. Can you get all the references? xD. Also, tell me what you think and if you liked it so far please fav/follow/review ^_^**


	4. Sexual Harassment

_Darkness everywhere_

Levi was trying to wake up from unconsciousness but light never reached his eyes. He tried to move, but he felt numb and squeezed. He was tied to a chair and blindfolded. Suddenly he felt a cold metal caressing his cheek, snipping the cloth, revealing the sight of a somewhat familiar face.

"H-Hey, I saw you with Yeager-", then he stopped talking as he heard his own echoes.

"I don't like that guy one bit", she said while chewing on a potato.

"Where am I? What happened?"

"Well, I figured you're a bigot, so I'll save you from yourself. I will _educate_ you. This is why I've brought you to The Chamber of Echoes, where you'll hear the same opinions over and over again. It gets really comfortable after a while"

"N-No! Let me go! Hange needs me!"

"Nice try, but in a world where your identity matters more than your character, there's no way Hange would mess around with someone like you. Now be a tolerant boy and let us proceed. You need to understand that we are in a daily war with hatred and xenophobia and it is our duty as Social Justice Warriors to put an end. I'm going to turn you into the best SJW to fight against Yeager. In order to bring peace to the world we need to start a bloody fight, or more. That's why this titanic religion is the religion of peace and we love it so much"

"I don't know...sounds scary"

Levi was familiar with these kind of goals. He got to see a lot of stuff going on as he was Hange's deplorable man servant..or at least this is how she'd call him. He could never bring himself to agree with most opinions he's heard there, but he was afraid to speak up. Many people who have disagreed with Hange have died 'mysteriously'.

"You know what's scarier? Different opinions! Now, how do we deal with different opinions?"

"We debate them?"

"What the hell? Who told you that? Who the hell told you that debating is the best and the most civilized thing to do? We. Don't. Debate. We. Don't. Engage. In. Dialogue. Ever. Got it?", Sasha was breathing heavily from trigger and was waiting to calm down a bit. "You just need to find a safe space, stick your fingers in your ears and sing 'lalalala' like a little child. Or just block people, ban them, censor them, destroy every lingering possibility of free speech. There's no way the other person could win if we don't give them a chance to begin with. **Free speech is good only when** ** _we_** **monitor it**. Now, what do we do when we need to prove a point? If we have any.."

"We use statistics, logic and facts in order to prove the other person is wrong?"

"No way! The time you use to research boring numbers could be used to protest some police station. Feelings are better than facts! What you need to do actually is to resort to name-calling. If they're white? They're racist. If they're black? They're coons/ white people's pet. If they're straight? They're homophobic. If they're gay? They're self-loathing uncle Toms. If they're male? They're sexists. If they're women? They have internalized misogyny. If they're a titan? You don't f*cking disagree with a titan. There are insults for everybody who disagrees with you. And play the victim card...oh wait...you don't have any in your privileged ass. If an oppressed class disagrees with SJWs then they have their victim cards confiscated. Bringing evidence of bigotry is optional, just cry louder to be convincing"

"You barely make sense...", concluded Levi after being bored to death.

"Oi, don't criticize our ways! This has been working for decades!"

"What's the point of all this? I don't discriminate against anybody"

 **"** **If you're saying you are accepting of those who have a different gender, race, religion or sexual orientation, then you refuse to admit that you have some unconscious biases that you need to unlearn, which is exactly why you're a bigot"**

"You know what? It was all fun and dandy, but enough is enough. You can't simply throw insults at me and expect me to support your cause. Facts don't care about your feelings. In fact, you can take your opinions and shove them up your ass 'cause they're shit. But unlike you, I was still willing to listen to them and not try to silence you. Are you afraid that I can make sense or why wouldn't you let my voice be heard? YOU MONGOOSE!"

"You Mongoose what? YOU MONGOOSE WHAT? IS THIS SEXUAL HARASSMENT? HEY PEOPLE, THIS PERSON HAS JUST SEXUALLY HARASSED ME!"

A faint 'what the foook' could be heard in the distance.

"DISGUSTING! DISGUSTING! AND NOW YOU'RE POINTING TO YOUR BODY PARTS"

Levi was shocked by her outrage and didn't understand what she was saying. He was freaking tied to a chair.

Then, a group of 3 people that looked like terrorists (but even though they were wearing bomb belts it's not nice to assume that all people who do that plan to destroy something) ran into the room after they heard the yelling.

"Hey, what's going on here?", asked a blonde girl with glacial stare.

"F*CK OFF!", yelled Sasha not being able to overcome the trigger.

A loud gasp could be heard from everybody else's mouth, including Levi.

"Did you just tell a TITAN to f*ck off?"

"WHAAT? I didn't know that girl was a titan! I'm SO sorry! This would have never happened if these people were forced to wear some sort of identification…"

"Why am I hearing loud noises while we're working on the next terrorist attack? And why did you bring this little…like...literally little…piece of garbage? He's a soldier and if he escapes he is going to tell the world about our secret hideout"

"Not if I make him consider the consequences of his privilege and the subtle ways in which his blindness has supported patriarchal oppression"

 **"** **You are the definition of indoctrination and you don't even understand what you're saying! Your definition of bigotry is that only a majority can be bigoted because the minorities can't be. Society has failed you and had you thinking only in terms of identity. For you, a person isn't a person, but a label or a number. There was a world before this that has been built by people who weren't obsessing over stuff like this. You will never build anything while thinking like a victim. Humanity will be destroyed by people like you, who think that they're doing good while they divide"** , said Levi as he was reaching his limit.

The tallest terrorist removed his scarf that was hiding half of his face to spit on Levi.

"Boy, this recruitment is gonna take loong", said Bertolt.

x-x-x-x

Meanwhile up in the sky Eren was trying to figure out how to return to Earth. He absolutely hated the fact that he let Crooked Hange speak without a fight….until he saw her near him.

"How did you end up here?", Eren asked with excitement that neither she could win at the moment.

"You know… the usual. A little bit of coughing, a little bit of seizure…these get to ya."

Eren could see an opportunity in this so he looked around for possible witnesses, then drew a pistol from his back pocket and pointed it at Hange.

"Heh! You think I can't see you with my anti-gun senses? I will delete you like my e-mails!"

Hange bit her finger and turned into a titanic dinosaur…just like her human form, but bigger.

*CHOMP!*

Eren has been bit in half, therefore only his upper body was inside of Hange. He looked like an epic veteran, with blood all over him and smoke from his regenerating skills. He could see her icy heart beating slowly and pointed again his gun at it.

"Hange, you're fired!"

* * *

 _We're interrupting this program to display some disclaimers and advertising from our sponsor_

* * *

It's hard being triggered all the time. I'm not kidding, for me it's all the time at this point!

I get dressed in the morning - I'm triggered. I take a shower – I'm triggered. I get in the car – I'm triggered. I leave my house - I'm triggered. I sit in my room all day – I'm triggered. I look at my thin beautiful sisters – I'm triggered.

I can't get away from it. People tell me it's because I look like a big fat whale and I should lose weight, but they don't understand that my genetics require me to eat 50 cheeseburgers a day, or was it my thyroid?

To get away from these feelings my friend has recommended me 'Feminism'. Feminism told me I'm beautiful and loved regardless of how I look and I should expect the same treatment as those gym bunnies who work out every day and eat healthy and whoever thinks otherwise, they're fatists.

I'm still a fat ass Miss Piggy, but at least I won't have to pay for 2 tickets for the 2 chairs I sit on (the other person can sit on the floor for all I care), I won't have to worry about health issues because now I've been told that I can be healthy at any size, and if men are too narrow-minded for my wide body I can always go gay for another obese girl that understands my struggles!

x-x-x

A year ago, things started to change…. in my body. I felt different. I felt scared. I went to the doctor, but he said there was nothing wrong, nothing be worried about. He said that I was normal and whatever I had it will go away by itself.

I've never felt so alone, like no one could understand what I was going through. But despite what that doctor said, I took more tests. On the internet. And I spoke to my friends on Tumblr that actually listen and get me! I've also found people who share my story.

I've found out I'm transtitan.

That's when things went wrong. That's when the bullying started, and by that I mean people started asking me questions I knew nothing about. I was a freak.

But I heard about this operation that could remove my genitalia and fulfill my transition. But the National Health Service refuses to fund my essential treatment. They said it was 'dangerous' and 'illegal'. And it's so expensive!

Please help me become who I am and visit my go fund me page /ttntransboi002 !

x-x-x

ERROR 9112001. Transmission hacked by CRISIS

* * *

 **Hey, little stars! Thank you for reading my troll fic! As usual, almost everything is based on real dialogue or real events which footage can be found on Youtube. It may look like exaggeration but I'm just writing what I hear in those videos. Hope you like and recognize the memes and references and that you enjoy reading :D. Let me know how much you loved it by following/fav/reviewing and please bear with me! :D**

 ***Troll song in the background***


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